“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
― Edna St. Vincent Millay
Have you ever lost someone and missed him or her so much that you would find yourself typing out his or her name on Google search as if you would be given a clue as to somehow find your loved one again? But what if he or she can not be found anymore simply because they no longer share the same big skies and space on this same earth that you're in? Death is a fearsome idea to most because it separates you from your loved ones and lay a cold dimension between us and our loved ones that can never be reconciled, at least while we are still alive. They can only be kept alive through our memories and even then, it has a flaw in which our memories sometimes do fail us. Will we ever forget our most beloved forever if we lose our own memory even though we wish to keep them forever close in our hearts?
Just days back, I sat there trying so hard to remember the tune that Ben, my spouse (who had since returned Home to the Lord on the 5 January 2008) had used to whistle out for me, this only one of a kind tune whenever he reaches the door every evening after work. I felt almost angry but mostly disappointed at myself for just not being able to remember. How could I forget? Why didn't I whistle out that tune and recorded that somewhere when it was still there in my memory? Funny thing is, I never thought it was something that I would forget, but I did. Will I forget more and more over time and thus lose the memory of him completely someday? I don't hope that will ever happen unless old age diseases might crept up on me and rob me of my mental faculties someday. However, I do know that life and everything has to end eventually but love doesn't.
This is a special page dedicated to Ben. A tribute from us all, to a most excellent and brilliant man who have made our lives so much sweeter and better simply because he had been in it.
Thank you for reading!